Zeppelin Panamá

I’ve finally found the secret to safe sex in midlife

I’ve finally found the secret to safe sex in midlife

Newly single in midlife and considering getting back in the sexy-time saddle? Welcome to the divorce club, baby, she says, with a hint of faux enthusiasm.

Via the app, I can safely share my STI status with my lover, who, in return, would use the app to share his with me

As for that difficult stripping-off moment just before jumping into bed, what can I say? Vodka helps. As does a dimmer switch. Sex with long-term partners just sort of happens each, you know, tax return. And that’s OK. Sort of.

But when you’re newly unleashed and having sex with different people, well, there’s just so much to think about, and I don’t mean the usual list of spa treatments, which for me now includes pedicure, nether-region wax, and eyelash tint, so I don’t look like a piglet in the morning. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Now we have Covid to worry about, or, as my dear mum would say, Covit, it’s enough to make me consider celibacy. No, it’s not actually, but having an STI test is.

According to research available on Age UK’s website, STIs are massively on the increase in the over-60s age range and beyond. We’ve been very careful in the prevention of the spread of Covid, and being greeted by a person wearing a full-face visor and hazmat suit, outstretched gloved hand eager to check our vaccination status moments after disembarking a plane, is now a given, but, like Covid, catching an STI in older years is something we never saw coming.

Covid statuses are here to stay; even dating apps are on board – in addition to height, location and where a person went to school, you can now check whether they’re vaccinated (assuming they’ve added their vaccination status to their dating profile). If only we could apply as much rigour and care to our sexual wellbeing.

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